American Elephants

never trust a person who doesn’t love animals. Unless they were attacked as a child, or beaten with dead animal carcasses, or something similarly traumatic, there really is something deeply wrong with them. A new poll by “the-news-service-that-shall-not-be-named” and Yahoo News lends new political perspective to that belief.

According to the poll of 1,759 adults, pet owners prefer John McCain over Obama 42 to 37 percent. Dog owners prefer McCain by nine points, cat owners prefer him by three.

Conversely, the heartless, animal-hating minority of rat-bastards that don’t care enough about anyone but themselves to own a pet prefer Obama by 48 to 34 percent.

As far as the candidates go, the McCain family has an English Springer Spaniel named Sam, a mutt named Coco, turtles Cuff and Link, a black and white short-hair named Oreo, one ferret, three parakeets and a bunch of saltwater fish.

The Obama family has no pets, but Barack has promised his daughters a dog, “after the election.”

Looks like my instincts were right.